Key Takeaways:
– Satirical news outlet, The Onion, purchases Alex Jones’ controversial platform, Infowars.
– Sale comes after Jones declares bankruptcy and liquidates his assets due to defamation lawsuits.
– Infowars was acquired through a bankruptcy auction.
– The Onion parodies the purchase, suggests radical future investments and halts the sales of InfoWars supplements.
Satire Gobbles Up Conspiracy: The Onion Buys Infowars
In a move as surprising as the headlines it produces, The Onion has reportedly purchased controversial platform Infowars, previously run by Alex Jones. This tidbit might sound like a joke, but reports confirm that it’s indeed a reality.
Alex Jones Forced to Sell Infowars
Alex Jones, a name synonymous with conspiracy theories, felt the heat from legal pressure. It resulted in him having to say goodbye to his brainchild, Infowars. Jones, responsible for spreading fake news about the Sandy Hook shooting that left 20 children dead, faced a hefty defamation lawsuit of nearly $1.5 billion. Unable to meet the obligation, he decided to liquidate his assets and finalize a bankruptcy.
Infowars Becomes Onion’s Latest Acquirement
In an interesting twist, Jones’ misfortune turned out to be the satirical news outlet, The Onion’s triumph. Following a bankruptcy auction, The Onion officially bought Infowars. Jones confirmed this news in a video comment, expressing his concerns about the fate of his platform under its new ownership.
Behind The Onion’s New Purchase
On the other hand, Bryce P. Tetraeder, the fictional owner of The Onion, offered his insight on the acquisition. Tetraeder’s remarks were typically Onion-style, humorous and metaphorically loaded. The ‘CEO’ likened the company’s brands to family members, characterized by mutual suspicion and malice.
He further highlighted Infowars’ apparent advantages, praising its potential for mass control. Although heavily sarcastic, Tetraeder admired the platform’s blend of delusional paranoia and pseudo anti-aging advice, presenting it as a wickedly smart tool to scare and control the masses.
Tetraeder Fancying the Future
Tetraeder’s imaginative editorial continued with a myriad of bizarre potential investments. Among them, he proposed scholarships for potential cult leaders and suggested pairing orphans with factory jobs. However, no suggestion was as absurd as what he planned for the vitamin and supplement stock of Infowars.
While maintaining a satirical tone, The Onion’s faux CEO announced the cancellation of the vitamins and supplements sale. The existing stockpile would be converted into a single candy bar-sized improvised omnivitamin. He playfully hinted that an anonymous executive would consume it, hoping to gain exceptional powers and possibly achieve immortality.
An Uncertain Road Ahead
Speculations aside, the future of Infowars under its new ownership remains uncertain. As a platform that thrived on spreading misinformation and wild theories, It’s fascinating to see where The Onion, a satire platform, takes it.
While we wait, the story of The Onion ingesting Infowars serves as testament to the consequences of spreading harmful untruths. It’s a poignant reminder, albeit sprinkled with humor, about the potential dangers of unchecked speech in the digital age.
In the end, the lesson to draw from this transaction might be this: truth has an uncanny way of catching up, and sometimes, it comes wrapped in layers of satirical onions.