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Breaking NewsA Satirical Take on A Future Shaped by Climate Change

A Satirical Take on A Future Shaped by Climate Change

Key Takeaways:

– By 2040, President Hulk Hogan is in negotiation with Mexico and Canada to adjust sea wall levels.
– US instigated the international seawall treaty after President Trump passed a controversial decree.
– Political tensions increased due to the impact of sea wall construction on real estate and displacement of residents.
– Global policies towards climate change have shifted from preventative measures to regional mitigation pacts.
– Due to rising global warming, Russia and China have evolved into major players in the world political landscape.

Meet President Hulk Hogan

Here’s a flight of fancy. It’s New Year’s Eve, 2040, and President Hulk Hogan is embarking on a new round of discussions with Mexico and Canada. The focus? Readjusting sea wall levels. Since 2030, this meeting between leaders has become a yearly ritual, a necessary step initiated following the devastating impact of multiple massive hurricanes.

Climate agreements and monster hurricanes

These catastrophic events resulted in few American states being wiped off the map. Florida, for instance, was split at Jacksonville, with the remaining portion of the state adrift in the sea. Now located near Haiti, it exports an unusual trio of products – iguanas, mosquitos, and militant extremists – back to its former location.

Further decimating the already fragile situation was the enactment of the ‘America Bans Science Under Republican Decree’. This controversial law was put forward by then President Trump, leading to the initiation of an international seawall treaty in 2031.

Growing Influence of the Sea Walls

As the United States erected a colossal sea wall around Miami, real estate developers found it challenging to market houses with simulated beach views. At the same time, non-profit organizations struggled to secure habitable land for those displaced by climate change. The execution of the seawall project stirred up anger, resulting in political squabbling between diverse factions.

The UN, Climate Change, and Shifting Global Dynamics

By 2030, globally accepted that the Paris Treaty goals for reducing carbon emissions were unachievable. This reality led to a shift in focus from climate change prevention to regional mitigation agreements.

China stood out in this world with its cutting-edge technology and successful navigation through the climate change crisis. They managed this by leveraging the late 21st century’s largest DNA database and advanced facial recognition technology. These measures ensured the country’s enduring rule even in the face of a rapidly changing world.

On the other end of the spectrum, Russia capitalized on the changing climate. It took over several neighboring countries after the collapse of NATO during Trump’s second term. The fact that climate change gifted Russia with warm water ports and resort-like coastlines further fueled this power grab.

A Bleak Future for Immigrants

Pakistan, among other countries, faced severe consequences due to flooding and rising temperatures. The scenario for affected residents worsened when the US imposed the controversial paper-bag immigration law. This discrimination-based law limited immigration to only those lighter than a paper bag in skin tone, leaving those with darker skin in their increasingly uninhabitable countries.

As populations in African and Sub-Saharan nations surged due to enforced birth control laws, Republican governors launched factory apprenticeships programs for young immigrants.

A Vision of the Future

In this satirical scenario for 2040, the picture painted is eerily marred by climate change and political power play. Yet, in this world shaped by climate paradox and political maneuvering, one can only hold onto a shred of hope for a more grounded and sustainable future.

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